For the past few years I’ve been building a network marketing business and I basically earn a decent income working part-time hours. Our family has made many sacrifices to build an organization which generates a full-time income. When I first started the business, we were in great financial need and my husband was very skeptical (anti network marketing and anti-sales) but our financial reality required that I do something to provide income. My struggle is what it has always been – having peace with what I do. I still need to earn income, although we no longer have the financial pressure which drove me as before. But this type of business is demanding, it requires continually personal development, dealing with people from all walks of life, religious beliefs, etc. It is also challenging to schedule. My office phone can literally ring from 8am to midnight with people who have urgent issues and are looking for help.
My heart is drawn to solitude and quiet, time for prayer and just to be with Christ. My reality is anything but… I desire to have balance and harmony through the day, but this business can be all consuming. And the truth is I am so drawn to do the business rather than tend to my home and family. Working with a team, strategizing, planning and facilitating events, is hugely energizing, exciting and tones of FUN!!! I love the social networking, thrive on the party atmosphere and have a hard time drawing my boundaries. I think it is natural to be drawn to this as it offers a contradiction to the monotony of home life. I don’t say that in a negative way – just stating the obvious, homemaking is very rhythmical (which has a beauty unto itself) but my personality loves the excitement of working with others with common goals.
My tendency has been to go hard with business building and then to be overcome by remorse for the neglect of my children and home. At which point I drop the business and re-focus in my home and being faithful to the rule, only to find that the momentum with my co-workers slows down, issues crop up, personalities clash and people disappear. And it goes round and round. One co-worker shared how she has had to be consumed, to live and breath the business 24/7. I am however aware that my primary vocation is wife, and mother.
My husband tells me I need to make money and wants our business to generate a solid couple grand a week – that is going to take consistent energy and effort as well as self-discipline and focus on my part. As you can see I’m conflicted and wonder if you would consider sharing your perspective. I know you to be a woman of faith, committed to living God’s Rule for your vocation. You have the gift of wisdom which has been of tremendous help and brought forth great graces for me in the past.