The main thing I’m still struggling with is prayer time. I am reading “Full of Grace” by Johnnette Benkovic. It is also stresses the importance of prayer. She mentions vocal prayer, meditative prayer, and contemplative prayer. Here’s my problem. I love to read. I’m always reading a spiritual book, like “Full of Grace” and have no trouble reading the Bible. However, I don’t feel like I’m really spending time with God. My favorite way to pray is to go before the Blessed Sacrament, but somehow this hasn’t happened. I need to make a solid schedule for adoration & confession twice a month. I think I can do this with the help of my husband. I just wonder whether reading a spiritual book “counts” as prayer? It definitely gets me thinking about God more.
I struggle with checking things off the box. For instance, I feel great about the fact that I read a section of the Bible nearly every day, however, I’m just reading it. I don’t feel it speaks to me, except for a verse here and there. When I pray the Rosary (occasionally), I still feel like I’m just checking off the box (prayed the Rosary, check; read the Bible, check) but I don’t feel like I’m growing closer to God. Mass, adoration & confession, reading the Bible, and vocal prayer (like the Rosary) are the only ways I know in which to grow closer to God. Other than just talking to God, which I haven’t been doing because I get so distracted (so that is why I’d rather just journal to Him).