Dear Holly,
I’ve been having panic attacks regularly, though I’m trying to keep things in perspective. I think that a schedule would really help things. I really long for a proper schedule for myself and my kids. I have thought about this, and prayed about this, and kept records and made lists… but nothing is coming together. I was wondering if you have any ideas. My children are both transitioning… my 2 year old son out of naps, and just won’t do quiet time in his bed without screaming or just being very disruptive – (I’m just not doing tv for him because he just isn’t old enough) and my 9 month old son out of morning naps. He also wakes very easily when there is any noise in the house, so some days he doesn’t sleep longer than an hour all day. If my 2 year old does take a nap, he is not tired until 9pm, or both kids will not nap at the same time. They both wake up at 6am, waking each other up usually. Every day is just completely different. My husband makes fun of me because it seems like I’m constantly trying to map out a schedule for us and then the next day everything falls apart when people nap or don’t nap or something else goes wrong.
Also, I’m having what seems to be an impossible time keeping the house clean. Even something as simple as cleaning up the kitchen seems virtually impossible sometimes. The children must both be constantly monitored it seems. We do have a very small house. Usually I have a 2 hour slot of time after the children go to bed. During this time I guess I should clean the house and do chores, but I really like to do my prayer and bible study and spend time with my husband. I clean about 30 minutes, which isn’t enough. The house is a wreck all the time. I don’t think it’s disgusting or filthy, but it’s not immaculately clean.
I am usually able to keep my patience and calm with the kids though. I spend almost all my time and effort on them, while they are so little. I’m able to make sure they have healthy things to eat. I have been getting some prayer in. Any advice?